Spend More Time Having Fun

Many of us spend too much time stressfully doing and checking off our to-do lists of chores and business accomplishments all day long. We don’t take time for the things we love to do in our lives. I am as guilty as anyone. I now include personal time on my to-do list to fit in more fun, and to remember to reach out to friends and family. Isn’t is a shame that I had to put fun on my to-do list? I have even thought about scheduling this time on my calendar like I do business meetings, but haven’t gone that far yet.

So what is it that you love to do outside work? This is a question I ask clients in our first meeting. Some really struggle with this since they don’t have much of a life outside of work. What ever happened to FUN and full 2-day weekends? How many people take off both days of the weekend? I remember when I started work in the early 1980s, I took off both days, and now like many in the US, I just take off one day.

So what do I do for fun? Exercise like hiking. snowshoeing, x-country skiing; music, cooking and creating things with my hands. I really enjoy conversation and recently enjoyed a church retreat with 22 women. I appreciate spending time with friends, and look forward to visiting friends and family in Minnesota this summer. While this trip was already planned, the recent loss of a Minnesota friend my same age reinforced this desire. I am in touch with friends all over the world since I was raised in an international community in Yokohama, Japan. We will be having our “Diva Reunion” in Yokohama, Japan this summer. This is our first return to Japan to celebrate this friendship.

Crochet RugLately I embraced sewing after a hiatus of several years. I have a lot of car time en route to art shows as my husband, Rodgers is an oil painter. Now I bring along sewing projects and I get so much done, and feel so good about what I create. My latest recreational project was a crochet rug for our bathroom. Rodgers helped me with the color order. For the more curious, my “yarn” is strips of material that I rip up. Many, many yards are consumed in a rug this size, almost 4 feet in diameter. I started this rug at the beginning of our recent car trip to Texas and Kansas. By the end of the trip, I only had 3 rows left to crochet. We now have a new rug and it feels so soft and cushy especially when stepping out of the shower. I started a second rug that will be much larger, which I will take on our next car trip to art shows in Chicago. I feel incredible gratitude that I started to let myself have more fun in the last year.

I hope you will take more time for FUN!


Check out our website: http://naylorwellness.com for recipes, health and wellness resources and much more.

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How to Get Your Beauty Sleep

sleepingstudent_smDid you know that fatigue is the second most common cause for a primary care medical visit, second only to pain? NIH estimates that one of five Americans claim to suffer from fatigue severely enough to interfere with their daily lives.

From 2008-2012, sales of energy drinks grew 60% to $12.5 billion. This doesn’t include coffee and caffeinated sodas. Unfortunately all these caffeinated beverages don’t give people the energy they seek. Caffeine stimulates energy discharge, but doesn’t increase energy production or storage.

Eating whole foods is a great way to promote energy, as is getting a good night’s sleep. Most Americans don’t get enough sleep. In 1963, Americans received 8.5 hours of sleep per night. By 2002, the average American only received 5.9 hours of sleep per night Sunday through Thursday, and 8 hours per night on the weekends. Although people’s sleeping requirements vary, for most people this is not enough sleep to maintain optimum energy levels and good health. We also feel stress more when we are sleep deprived. Little things that we would scarcely notice can easily be blown out of proportion when we are sleep deprived.

Here are some tips to promote better quality sleep that I have incorporated in the last year. The overall motion is to get a routine of relaxation to promote a good night’s sleep starting a couple of hours before bed time.

  • Exercise during the day helps, but not just before bed as it raises your heart rate.
  • Caffeine after 2:00 pm should be avoided if you’re sensitive to it.
  • Have curtains or blinds in your room if you suffer from insomnia. The fuller moon keeps some people awake and others awake with the sun, which is mighty early during the summer months.
  • Don’t eat a heavy dinner or too late so you can sleep better
  • Don’t drink too much alcohol with dinner. While it will relax you: too much and you’ll be awake a few hours after you fall asleep.
  • Turn the PC off by a certain hour every night
  • Go to bed at around the same time every night, not too late
  • Take a hot bath or shower to relax before bed
  • Blue light emitted by cell phones and laptops should be avoided before bed. If you must, here is more detail about the effects of blue light and ways to lessen it
  • Ideally just don’t bring the PC, iPhone or tablet to bed and read email or Facebook
  • Read a paper book to relax
  • Listen to soft music or meditate
  • Write about your day, especially the things that went well that you are grateful for
  • As you fall asleep think about the things that went well for you during the day. Think about your loved ones, and how grateful you are for friends and family

Resources for further reading on sleep.


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Unleash New Energy: Declutter

A great way to bring new energy into your life is to throw out stuff you don’t use any more or to find someone who will just love it. Keeping too much stuff around adds stress to your life, and reduces the energy you have to try new things and think in new ways. I find that I stay in a rut when I just let clutter build up around me.

We are contemplating a move to Denver as the higher elevation—9,000 feet—is getting to us as we age. It’s also not so pleasant for our guests who fly in from sea level, flatlanders as we call them. We have a lovely view: an unobstructed view of the Kenosha Range of mountains with Pike’s Peak off in the distance (the cover photo of this blog).

Wedding cake 40th onlyI was a cake decorator many years ago. I made wedding cakes and lots of fun shaped cakes like Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Bugs Bunny, bears of all sorts, Ziggy, Cathy, and all kinds of seasonal cake molds for Christmas and Halloween. I also have a full set of wedding cake pans for round, heart and hexagons. Check out the wedding cake I made for my parents 40th wedding anniversary, which doesn’t seem so far off for us these days. I had several large boxes of these cake pans.

I didn’t want to drop off all these cake decorating items at Goodwill, so I started to tell friends about my desire to find a home for them. One friend knows a couple of entrepreneurial cake decorators in Denver. Another friend’s sister is a Wilton cake decorating instructor, who will probably appreciate these cake molds. The guitar one was made in 1977 and the Disney figures were made in 1983. Wilton doesn’t make these molds any more. I am glad to be finding homes for them.

cake flowers 1 rubber leafIn addition to cake molds, I found these flowers I had made some 30 years ago. Wow, sugar really keeps its shape once it becomes almost petrified. I was starting to throw out these flowers, and decided to capture the memory before I let them go. I have good memories of making these flowers, and these many cakes, but it’s time to let them go.

Cleaning out my office is freeing too. I am throwing out old customer files from my market intelligence business as I am paring that business down to supporting sales and marketing with win/loss analysis and teaching people how to collect information from others through conversation. Sales people appreciate this training since it helps them close deals or run from clients who won’t be buying from them, ever.

It’s nice to have that open energy to be buying books and storing knowledge to support my health coaching clients. I have been in marketing and research for almost 30 years, so I can’t help but organize what I find by topical area so I can pull it out to share with my customers.

More cake flowersIt’s interesting how new energy just pours in once you declutter. I have just started this process, and am already feeling new life. I look forward to and feel gratitude for every day.

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12 Stress Busters

Lady Relax BeachWe have more tools than ever to simplify tasks and accomplish things more quickly, yet our “to do” lists get longer. Here are some things I do to calm myself down. In the process I become happier, more relaxed and grounded.

1. Make time for yourself. Don’t just go from task to task checking off your list. If you have to, add personal activity time to your daily planner for some time out. Do something playful and fun like the movies, reading a non-work related book, making a special dinner or learning something new.

2. Disconnect. Reduce technology stress by taking yourself off email for a day or the weekend. Check email 2 or 3 times a day rather than leaving it on all the time. If something is an emergency they’ll text or call you. I also like to disconnect from life in daily meditation. This is only 15-20 minutes, but I feel so refreshed and sparkle with new ideas after my meditation.

3. Eat slower and mindfully. Don’t speed through meals hardly tasting what you eat. Eat with intention and joy: chew foods slowly and enjoy the taste, smell and texture of the food. If you have a companion or family, eat at least one meal a day together. Dinner is the sacred hour in our home. We take no phone calls, and eat home cooked food by candlelight with conversation and nice music.

4. Sleep. Many in America are sleep deprived. I was for a long time. I find 7 hours of sleep helps me manage my stress level in everyday life. I am in a better mood, more alert and have a better memory when I get my sleep. Turn off your visual technology an hour before bed to start slowing down for a good night’s sleep. Contemplate what went well for you that day as you drift off to sleep.

5 Squash the negative self-talk. You can reverse the stories you play in your head that are not true. First you need to be aware of them. Sometimes when I am really down about something I will write it out. This is a powerful release and a reminder of how my wandering mind makes up stories that keep me from doing what I want to do, usually from fear: rejection or failure. It’s the idea of Julia Cameron’s Morning Pages, except that I use journaling as a release at any time of the day.

6. Connect with family and friends. This seems obvious and should be simple, but I caught myself not really listening to my husband and almost finishing his sentences, until I realized what I was doing. Take the time to go deeper. Put the iPhones and notebooks aside and engage in conversation. There is nothing better than the company and support of family and friends.

7. Enjoy nature. In the mountains where I live, I watch the sun rise and set almost every day. Even in the busy work day, take a short break and enjoy some fresh air. Take a walk during lunch hour if you have a spot near work. I love to hike the trails in Colorado where I live in the summer and snow shoe or cross-country ski in the winter. I sleep so well those nights.

8. Take time to exercise. It will make you feel better. There are so many exercise options these days. I find that even a short burst of exercise during the workday can make the next hours more productive and enjoyable.

9. Appreciate what you have. Take time to be grateful for what you have, and note what is going right often. I have a gratitude journal. It’s nice to read back and realize how blessed I am in my life.

10. Remember your aspirations and goals for your life. Each year I write out what I plan to accomplish in the upcoming year. I like to read these periodically to keep myself centered or to allow myself to change my direction. Some people keep these goals by their bedside to get charged up in the morning. I prefer to start my day with meditation. Figure out what works best for you.

11. Take the time to organize your daily objectives. This makes it easier to get to work in the morning and to resist the temptation to spend too much time in the social media space. I also like to have goals for the week and the month that I can re-sort based on how my life evolves. If I make daily, weekly and monthly goals, I find fewer things fall through the cracks, and if they do I realize they weren’t that important after all.

12. Do random acts of kindness for no reason at all, just because. In my former life, I developed the notion of cooperative intelligence , that is giving to others in your organization with no expectation that they would be obligated to give back to you. It’s amazing how the floodgates of sharing open when you just simply give.

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Vacation: My Favorite Stressbuster

Welcome to the Coach Stressbuster blog. My intention is to share stories and ideas that will energize you and make you happy. I have been high strung my whole life, and as I get older I have learned to park some of my stress and anxiety. I have also learned a certain amount of stress is a good thing.

One of my favorite stressbusters is vacation. It’s a good thing to start planning in the New Year. Americans get so little paid vacation compared to most other developed countries, and is one of the few developed countries that does not mandate paid vacation. According to the Center for Economic Policy and Research even after 25 years, the average American only gets 15.1 days off. In spite of this, many Americans don’t take the vacation they’re owed. 57% of American workers had unused vacation time — up to two weeks’ worth — at the end of 2011, according to a Harris Interactive survey. No wonder Americans suffer so much from anxiety and stress. We don’t take the time to get away and relax on vacation.

I am been self-employed for over 20 years, so I do not have corporate constraints on vacation time, but don’t get paid vacation either. I do have money constraints, so we economize as we vacation, but we take 2 – 3 weeks of getaway vacation time most years.

Nice by the SeaLast Fall, we took our vacation in France, a popular destination for us since we have family and dear friends who live there. We started our holiday in Nice which is a lively, beautiful city right on the Mediterranean near Italy’s border. One of my favorite features is the Flower Market in the old part of town, a block from the ocean. In addition to flowers, there is wide array of fresh fruit, veggies, cheese and other produce. The produce looks like it’s just been picked. My favorites were the tomatoes and grapes.

photo_14After Nice, we worked our way along the Mediterranean coastline to some charming towns such as Antibes, Juan les Pins, Cannes, St. Tropez, les Issambres and Hyères. We targeted the old sections of each town since we love old architecture. We especially loved the harbors with charming boats of all description as well as the fishing boats. The Parasol trees along the Mediterranean are spectacular both in their beauty and the angles they can grow at. My favorites were in an older, wealthy neighborhood in Antibes.

We loved the hike along the twisty coastline in Hyères where each bend brought a new site: the forest, someone’s back yard, some incredible gardens, and the beach. This walk was so invigorating as I felt like a child with this thrill of discovery around each bend, while feeling and smelling the fresh ocean breeze.

We ate lunch outdoors almost every day. In France, lunch is an event. It starts at Noon and ends at 2 pm sharp. However, along the Mediterranean lunch hours are extended, which adds to the casual ambiance of being on vacation.

photo_6The highlight of the trip for me was the Camargue, which is a huge salt marsh area with an incredible variety of birds, white horses and black bulls. In some ways, it’s more like Spain, although they don’t kill the bulls in the ring. The Camargue is particularly populated with Pink Flamingoes, Herons and Egrets of all description.  Bird watching is a new hobby for me, and I brought my bulky binoculars to maximize my bird watching experience. There was a bird park near Saintes Maries de la Mer, which featured 7 kilometers of trails around bodies of shallow water. We spent a glorious afternoon there, and the weather was perfect.

We met our in-laws in Aigues Mortes, a medieval town constructed under Louis IX as a port for the Crusades at the edge of the Camargue. We drove back and spent time with them at their lovely home in the Tarne, which is inland and close to Toulouse. Coincidentally some dear friends, former Colorado neighbors, live 4 miles away, so we felt blessed to spend time with them.

I am grateful that we take vacations. I can’t describe the energy I come home with, but I feel more relaxed and creative in my work, and appreciative for my life.


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